you are so beautiful-----joe cocker

You are so beautiful to me
You are so beautiful to me
Can't you see
Your everything I hoped for
Your everything I need
You are so beautiful to me

Such joy and happiness you bring
Such joy and happiness you bring
Like a dream
A guiding light that shines in the night
Heavens gift to me
You are so beautiful to me

de silence..

de silence..

of a forest at midnite in Sarawak..

of a snowy mountain in Aspen..

of a seashore in Hawaii ..

of a dead corner in Machu Picchu..

cherish de silence around you..

take it in..

breath it out..

let it reach de deepest of your soul

lavish in it..

break free..hold bck..

moon trail

Moonlight shimmers through

an open window at 3am

forming a castle like shadow

the restless stars by the north

singing and dancing with de midnight fall breeze

i follow de moon trail,,

over de wall

across de sea

towards de starlit sky

gazing n searching for de one..

i follow de moon trail...

tht shines de way to de endless nostalgic night..

fri---sept 11th 09

when de heart tires

when de tears dry

wil we still remember de ache tht form de scab?

wil we still hold on to wt we once believe in?

so fed up wit literally everything...

unsatisfied needs..

unfair situations

unsolved problems..

jz so tired..

aikz

3a.m

最近迷上了张智成的凌晨三点钟

智成高昂的假音及超RnB的转音。。

他的声音就如寂寞人们的心态。。

大胆却细腻中带点忧愁。。

无意中在youtube发现。。

matchbox twenty的3am也超好听。。

灵感来源也超感动。。

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUVWzvFYk0k

刚从maxwell hill回来。。

风景超美。。夜景更棒。。

寂寞的浪波却打在心滩上。。

好久没自我陶醉地感性了。。

可能是太忙着玩吧。。呵呵。。

是该读书了。。心里的os喊着。。

可是。。哈哈

p.s. 还没三点。。睡了。。哈哈

lower six glimpse

soaking in memories

i jz want to hold u thightly..

to prove how much u mean to me..

to show u my love wit al de passion i hav..

tired..

trying to clear my mind but u keep coming back..

listening...

to de waves tht resembles ur breath o so much..

knowing..

if i cnt even control my own pulse..

wt place would i even have..

if i finally decided to withdraw from our lifes

leaving u in shock n helpless with ur broken heart tht i wil neva touch again

i would hate myself for my selfishness n how cold blooded i cn b..

watching u walk into de sunset alone..neva turning back..

we lost faith in each other

i wont b able to hold ur hand n walk into de evening horizon..

n to grow old wit u n to luv each other wil silver hair..

its nt fair to leave u in de dark reminiscing in vain..

i wil go..

leaving de starry nights tht we once share in our deepest sweetest memories..

i wil fal back frm ur heart n gif way to de new true conqueror..

forget me u mz..

one day the wounds wil scab n evetually heal..

jz hope it de day wil come soon...

Its sad, so sad
Its a sad, sad situation
And its getting more and more absurd
Its sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word by Elton John, Lyrics by Bernie Taupin

wt cn i say mor bsides dis 5 letters tht is so often thrown around bt rarely spoken throught de heart..

i neva meant to hurt any1 in anyway..im jz me..no 1 cn change tht..even i myslef hate dis part of me..aikz..

sure..i did hurt u...a sin tht wil burden me for de rez of my life..

talking to u..looking into ur eyes..makes me go bck..way bck...hw it started n hw it end for us...

u r mor den a fren to me nw..n tht wil neva change..its sad tht u cnt c tht..mayb de hurt i hav caused is jz too much for u to find strength to move on..

i moved on..i hope u wil too...mayb guys reali do pul out frm relationships better..yt..i assure u..it still hurts frm time to time..

evil masked clowns

stumbled over pink's 'funhouse' d other day..

de chorus goes..

'dis used to be a funhouse..bt nw its fulled of evil clowns..

its time to start de countdwn..im gonna burn it dwn,dwn dwn!'

humans r undoubtly de mos evil n ugliest orgamisns who hav ever roamed dis filthy planet..

nt physically bt spiritually..

dey r selfish beings who oni purpose to continue breathing is to waste de limited oxygen we hav left..

sry..hehe....

hw cn bez frens bcum complete strangers over sum itty bitty matter..lolz..

hw cn a couple bcum a burden for each other even after dey broke up..

hw cn a father n his son hav a gap so big even 2 decades of days n nites cnt cloze it up..

human relationships r a simple n vy delicate link..

its easliy tied up n complications cn ezily occur jz by a few words or sum actions..

ppl abuse dis delicate situation for their own gd without considering de feelings of other ppl..although i myself dun care much tooo..hehe

its hard enough to b living ur own life

so dun care so much as long as u think ur rite..follow ur heart wit rasionality..

plz...

stop wearing dose masks..

it wil oni numb de pain for a while..it wil come bck later to haunt u eventually..

embrace each other wit open hearts n stop de war..

its jz too sad to c ppl around me goin dwn everyday n im helpless too...aikz...

sick---10th july

lol...stupid nose..

5 packs of tissue cnt stop de "flood" frm my nostrils

damn flu...could it be h1n1...wao..haha

actually i quite lk being sick

u gt dizzy n wt ppl say stim stim

u think a lot n slp..

u get emo n u get high..

kinda lk being drunk..hehe

lies

stop de lies n stop de scam

retain de truth n expose de reality

stop de ripping of ppl lk ham

bring bck de lost clarity n serenity

wth

寂寞先生..gary曹格

你的笑容是恩惠　世界難得那麼美
於是追 要你陪　
可惜本能終會將美麗汗水化成淚水

黑夜之所以會黑　叫醒人心里的鬼
在游說 在縈回　
在體內是什麼 在把我摧毀在傷痕累累

我可以無所謂　寂寞卻一直掉眼淚
人類除了擅長頹廢　
做什麼都不對　Oh … I'm Not Okay

我假裝無所謂　才看不到心被擰碎
人在愛情里越殘廢　就會越多安慰　
無論(有)多虛偽

空虛并非是詞匯　能夠形容的魔鬼
它支配著行為　
能擺脫寂寞我什麼都肯給　就像個傀儡

goosebumps..

powerful n high pitch as always..

gary really done it dis time..

blue jazzy feel wit simple acoustic piano background

bravo man

taylor swift raps!

sweet nex door country singer taylor swift raps!

gangsta style!

got bleep for saying yo...lol...hehe

爱？

那里藏着什么

是幸福？

是叹息？

夜里的思念

真的能成为日出吗？

今日的欢笑

明日是否继续守护？

一起建峻的堡垒

能承受得起所有的摧毁吗？

june 5th

pg hill trip

woke at 6.slpy slpy...

fetched chun on my motor..(im still stuck at L..hehe)

had dim sum wit chun at asia cafe while waiting for every1 else who were late..

board de cable around 8am

reached de top..

decided to rent bicycles

zoomed through de tar path..

lost siew ming n XIAO JIE who was on de 2 seater bicycle(wteva u cal dem)..LOL...

4 legs do go faster den 2 legs..

commenceed a serah and rescue mission...

de frustrating part is my damned bicycle cnt even b paddled

stupid chain keep falling of de ..... so the gear cnt be fixed..

got my hands messy wit grease..eww..

n i think every1 gt ass crapms frm de stonehard bicycle seat..ouch..

lk being sodomised

saw a large red 'furry' worm..

so cute..haha

finally contacted de 2 'adventerous' gals

meet up and walk around sumore

had ice kacang den head bck to civilisation d..

quite a day...my ass stil hurts..aikz..

had some laughs n fun..

thx hoay chin for inviting me..

n for de other u6b2's tht didnt go..hate u guyz..blek..

ps:chai hun..pay me n i'll satisfy ur needs..wahaha

否

否决否认否受

否爱否恨否觉

否行否呼否活

wall

walls

the wall of our hearts..

fences..spikes..traps..

y do we set up defenses..useless defenses..

I cnt deny the existence of a wall in my heart

Bt there is a opening on every wall

U jz hav to hav de patience and willingness to find it

Even if its locked or blocked..

U wil go through if u wn to..

Ppl nw r jz too lazy to even bother

Dey locked their heart and soul in litte dark rooms

Preventing further harm frm dis cruel world..

Yet..

De hurt wun go away if it its locked inside..

Realize tht..

 

A door

a key

shall we?

Im ready..r u?

mini concert---thoughts

clhs mini concert...

30th of may..

i participated bt didnt get any placing..well..

nt vy dissapointed actually..

de winners do deserve it..

n i jz gave a mediocre performance

even 4gt my lyrics

dun expect much..hehe

thx to my pretty pianist,hoay chin for her wonderful playing thought..

sry for my weak singing n for 4gting my lyrics..hehe

dun kil me plz....

bt we did our bez..

and we had fun..so...

thx for de support frm my frenz too..

helped me soothen de awkward moment of de damned soundless keyboard..

thx for de votes eventhought i didnt gt any placing...

anyways..

i came 

i rock

n i had fun!

p.s. Chun...im gonna kil u..u noe y...hehe

hamster R.I.P---1st of june

bros pet hamster died 2day due to 'drug' overdose..

althought i dun actually lk hav a bond wit it..

bt...R.I.P..amitabah..may god bless u..may de force be wit u or wteva..

saw a cat dead in de middle of the road wit its insides out..eww...

sad sad...

life is sad..

de very existence of any lifeform is a slowly dying act..

aikz..

live n let live..

'lovin' math

i love math

maths is so fun

you learn how to integrate

isnt tht jz so great

math test is even mor fun

u get 3 hrs so u cn spend..

half an hour looking at de ques

half an hour understanding de ques

half an hour doing de ques

half an hour on de calculator

half an hour sleeping on de ques

half an hour drawing on de ques

math is so benefitial..

u can draw,slp,read and do at the same time..

hooray for multitasking..

the answer is C..yeah!

lovin dis pic..

de colours..

de emotion..

de lines..

de numbers..

it brings tears to my eyes..

truly art..

finally and yours truly..

zee avi--bitter heart

zee avi..

sarawak born kl grown..true malaysian

currently in de states releasing her debut album..

stumbled over tht day on youtube..

actually youtube featured her at its frontpage..

haha...

flawless vintage jazzy vocal..

simple chords..

tht wil dazzle ur ears

jz shows tht malaysia boleh!!!

wahaha

http://www.zeeavi.com/ 

check it out

繁光

繁系着夜空的月光

犹如丝般缠绕着。。捆绑着。。最原始的黑暗

莹白色。。是纯洁？是致恶？

tired

suffered sum low points dis few weeks..

de autism symptoms tht i used to hav as a kid kinda kicking bck..

i guess ur whole life does get affected by ur childhood..

been thinking thus falling asleep a lot

problems solved n formed here n dere

knots untied n tied in my ever confusing mind..

i've seem lot i assumed

bt it is neva enough

new faces

new enviroment

new challenges

new feelings..omg..

what i used to believe in seems so stupid nw

ppl say u change wit age

i used to thought i wz one de few exception

yt...

seraching for a new prespective to go on

to start over..

crossing my fingers to find it soon b4 i get lost in dis damned age

emo-ing...

may 1st..paradise beachfront

down eh

down eh

beh high eh

ki kun la

(craping...）

crush--david archuleta style

having a crush...

dis is one of the situations whn u duno u should hate or luv..

aikz..mahuan nia..

go away go away..haha

I hung up the phone tonight

Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush

‘Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It’s just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I’ve just got to know

Do you ever think when you’re all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
‘Cause I’m trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t goin’ away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin’ away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we’re hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?

See it’s a chance we’ve gotta take
‘Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever

Do you ever think when you’re all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
‘Cause I’m trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t goin’ away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin’ away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I’ve just got to know

Do you ever think when you’re all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
‘Cause I’m trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t goin’ away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
This crush ain’t goin’ away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin’ away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin’ away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin’ away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

reenter

shut

sounds

emotions

faces

movement

every nerve in ur disfunctional body

throw out

anger

tears

laughter

hate

de very essence of life

ground everything to zero

initiate restart

reclaim serenity

reclaim silence

reclaim tranquility

reclaim calmness

reclaim urself

猫与狗

猫与狗相爱了。。

狗喜欢猫可爱的单纯

猫喜欢狗单纯的可爱

可。。

猫始终是猫

狗也始终是狗。。

猫生气

狗没气

猫爱管

狗爱跑

猫不随

狗随己

猫渴望稳定

狗渴望飞翔

猫是狗这浪子不想依靠的岸上

狗则是猫心里永远唯一的归属

猫与狗越来越疏远。。

猫质疑狗的爱

狗不解猫的爱

猫说狗自私

狗说猫小气

猫心痛

狗心麻

迎来结局

一个普通不过的结局

一个猫与狗都知道但逃避的结束

猫绝望

狗失望

猫转

狗走

猫与狗。。

再见

四年的断断续续。。

上下有无左右。。

已不重要。。

是该结束这段不幸的幸福了。。

橘子有本书写着‘不爱，也是一种爱’

而我们都明白。。

放下，也是一种爱。。

我会想你。。一定会。。

untitled

falling into your eyes is the only thing i can do everytime i see you

every time we meet makes the upcoming separation more painful

the scent of your hair controls my breath

every inhale would be a waste without your presence

the thought of being with you makes my heart beat

love is not in the air

love is in my words..

to you..

dark night..

white sand..

you and me..

雨天发呆

好久没看着雨天发呆了。。

当习惯慢慢变成无数的错过。。

是该反省。。静思了。。发呆。。

被雨渗透的头发好松。。好舒服。。

被雨淋湿的感觉好凉。。好清爽。。

闭上眼。。

让思绪飘流。。到那无恼之地。。

看见了你。。还有他。。

枫微微飘

雨滴滴答

情浅浅缠

我轻轻说。。

W A N  

wut de fucke

wut de fucke is hoin on 

y is ish wurld hoin cazy

ehat ish wurld

upid wathur

upid poepe

upid wurld

upid cupid

sop umthing on mua

y m mua riting ish

un car

un gi a dam

lol....

宅男

bck bck bck

bck frm 4 days of answer seeking..

gt dem..n more...

actually lose my V..

didnt feel a thing..

haha..

had fab fun..

ate sum fab food..

meet sum fab ppl

bought sum fab stuff.

all's gd..

red box 2mr..

breaking de sound barrier..wahaha

til thurs

soul searching..

til thurs..

c u guyz

complications

y mz everything b so complicated..

y cnt friends jz b friends

y cnt luvers jz b luvers

y cnt strangers jz b strangers

y cnt u jz say and do wt ur heart follows

y cnt u jz go whr u wn to

this is a simple world..

stupid homosapien contaminated dis wit their ultra pathetic ego..

feelings..

bonds..

emotions..

tears..

trying to break free would make u an outcast

dis is de sad side of humanity

nt fiitting in wil jz gif u a tag as a loner..

cnt one keep to himself dis days??

y mz everything be magnified??

i m damn thankful for myself..

nth formed me and nth will

what i think and wt i do doesnt need any concern from anybody except me myslef..

wt important is to live out ur beliefs..

and my one and only true belief is mua..

take it or leave it

de oni way i found to prevent al of these complications

is to avoid de source itself..

our damned species..

nt talking..

nt caring

nt listening

nt taking sides.

nt seeing

complete shutdwn 

for nw..

complications of a tied dwn soul..

----

yell and tell

fell to hell

sien..ing(bored)

bored..

bored of talking

bored of listening

bored of wathcing

bored of knowing

bored of studying

bored of writing

bored of seeing

bored of sitting

bored of standing

bored of hearing

bored of u

bored of me

bored of life

but..

neva bored by..

sleeping..

eating..

dirnking..

thinking..

reading..

idling..

edu

recently i've notice tht my writing skills hav gone dwn de drain..

nt oni in english bt chinese as well..

mayb its cz of de unhealthy duck stuffing edu system...shit...it finally got to me....nt! neva!

our edu system is reali total crap..

nt inovatif at al..kills ur imagination..blocks human  rights..n shuts de freedom of thinking..

jz read de papers or turn on u tv..pathetic donkies are runing our dying country...

the sight is simply unbearable

hw could our forfarthers agree to let dose monkeys hav de upper hand in pratically every darn aspect..

mayb their race did excel 50 years ago..bt tht waz 50 years ago..omg...wake up!

look at the great 'mighty' USA..de 1st black president BARRACK Hussien OBAMA..gd man gd man..pity him for havin to pick up after tht retarded cowboy..

even in f6 wit oni 5 subs u cn c de failure of a country..

lets start wit maths..

who in their right mind would reali bother to understand wt happens whn u add dis...integrate tht...blah blah blah...bull shit!

sure maths is reali important for de advancement of science and tech..bt sum ppl jz dun wn to understand it..mayb its my stupidity and naiveness but so wt!

i dun care......at al.....

next is muet..

dis is reali de subject tht is killing our minds..

no creativity at all said our teacher...

wt is a language without creativity..

shakespeare would wake up from his grave and slap every so cal formal eng teachers..

learning a language should b fun n intresting lk art..

thoughts should be flying..nt lying dead on de floor..

我的

自我的闭

食我的物

爱我的情

读我的书

写我的字

睡我的觉

上我的课

喝我的可口可乐

大人们的世界

大人们的世界好恐怖。。

虚伪的友情

脆弱的爱情

累赘的亲情

无情的陷害

无聊的猜忌

无谓的吵架

无端的纠纷

无理的自私

无度的信心

无补的狡辩

无声的叹气

无常的性格

无耻的手段

无赖的心理

无奈的挣扎

无需的在乎

无知的妄说

无与伦比的愚蠢

四季序

春知晓

夏日昂

秋岚枫

冬雪飘

red rose

red roses for valentine?

red is the colour of prosper..love and devastation..blood and death

irony..

the red..

to hope and to lose

the thorns..

to love and to hate

the fire..

to hurt and to heal

bloody

question existing

rihanna's question existing playing..

the words go..

can i endure some more

chances i'm giving

question existing

so damn tired..

may i?

will i?

can i?

dragon-i?

canton-i?

lolx

CNY

pink shorts

white shorts

khaki shorts

2 grey shorts

9 white t-shirts

light blue t-hirt

yellow t-shirt

7 days of idling fun

ang pows....here i cum!!!

better be full!

haha

孤独的最高境界是繁华

拥抱的画面

讽刺地

笼罩一个人的背影

熟悉的笑声

讽刺地

乌化成回忆的灰烬

爱回音

残酷唤醒

对你的思念

study

study to eat

study to sleep

study to live

viva la study..

so sad....

你

你说。。

你爱他

但你更爱我

可是

牵着你的。。不是我

你不知道的比你了解的差太多

你不知道牵手后不舍得洗手的我

你不知道看电影时心跳狂奔的我

你不知道第一次说我爱你的青涩的我

你不知道在我们第一次我的紧张及罪恶感

你不知道我的假装坚强掩盖的伤

你不知眼泪里的寂寞所形成的重量压得我喘不过气

那晚的路灯

那晚的月亮

那晚哭得乱七八糟的我

初识那晨

结束那夜

你还记得吗?

谢谢你

每一刻

及

这一课